Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
