okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
