Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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