is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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