i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
