i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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