Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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