I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
