did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Those nachos came to me in a dream
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
