If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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