I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize