On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
