She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
