Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just pee around me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Congratulations! We have a period
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