I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize