Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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