When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
