oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
