belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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