No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
