you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
