I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
