BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
