Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
