She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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