he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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