I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
