My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
