I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
