is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I want her autograph on my taint
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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