Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
