shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
