and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
