my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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