you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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