Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
