if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
