i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We left the knife in your bed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
