She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm passing your future prison.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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