the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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