ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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