OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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