I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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