yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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