dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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