There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
