I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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