And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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