if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
