Who wears a wallet chain?!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
