Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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