Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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