Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
