the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
