Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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