So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
