My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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