Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
