Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
