i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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