I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize