so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize