I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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