I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
