Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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