You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize