then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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