you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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