btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
