So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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