I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
