The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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