I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
