I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
