I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
