I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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