dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
