dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come share oat with me in your robe
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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