32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
