I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
