If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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