Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
