im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
