My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
