Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
