I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
